10-23-08: Joe saw his first monkeys in Mali while taking a bike ride on the dirt road between our village and the one North of us. He saw 6 small monkeys crossing the road about 100 yards in front of him.
10-27-08: Ashley has her first bike crash, but because she was abiding by Peace Corps rules, she was wearing her helmet so only ended up with a few bruises and a headache.
10-31-08: Ashley had her first monkey sighting, only she saw her monkey in the post office!
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Mali is largely a Muslim country, with 90% of the population practicing Sunni Islam. With the practice of Islam comes the practice of polygamy (you are allowed up to four wives). Each Peace Corps volunteer has a homologue, which is french for the word counterpart, basically the person Peace Corps sets you up with to work on integration into your village, development projects, language training, and is your all-around Peace Corps appointed buddy. Our homologue is 34 years old and his name is Umar Gjibia and he is a really great guy. He can speak 5 different languages; French, Donoso, Toroso, Bambara, and Fulfulde. Umar has an eighth grade education, which for Mali means he is one of the most educated people in our village. Umar has two wives, Ramatu and Jeneba. I wonder what having multiple wives is like, not because having multiple wives is something I desire, but because it is culturally different from the way I was brought up to view marriage. I wonder if the wives are friends? Or do they despise each other? Are the wives always in competition to see who can serve the husband the best to win the favored wife status? It seems very complicated. I know from experience that one wife is complicated I cant imagine the complication or the cost of two wives -- two wives means you have to buy 30 purses a year instead of 15 and you have to afford 8 pairs of shoes a month instead of 4.
The cost---that is my way of joking back with the Malians when they tell me I need a second wife, a Malian second wife that is. One day at work the men were haggling me about having only one wife so I said in Donoso, "Ameriki Yana Turu," in America you only get one wife(one wife at a time would be more accurate). But they kept hounding me saying I needed a second wife. So I replied a second time with, "Yana leye budu jooe," two wives is a lot of money and we all laughed and the subject was changed.
Today Ashley and I ate breakfast with Umar. I forgot to mention that in Mali that every wife has her own house. So we went to Umar's wife Jeneba's house and ate Funion (similar to cream of wheat) and after we finished at Jeneba's we walked over to Umar's other wives house, Ramatu, and drank Puno ( a millet porridge with sugar).
I wonder what it is like to have two wives.
I think 2 wives would be terrible...and I'm a wife!!! I love you guys and miss you...and I love to see everything that you are doing. I wanted to let you know too that I have a blog also, it's siouxcitybarkerbunch.blogspot.com - I've been trying to keep it updated! Miss you lots!
ReplyDeleteHi Joe and Ashley,
ReplyDeleteJoe that is different about the whole wife situation. Ya I agree one wife or husband is enough. It's good that you share your thoughts when you can.
miss you
love
B, J and A
peace be upon you joe,
ReplyDeletei am muslim yet the practice of polygamy seems very alien to me. if you are curious, however, i can link you to some blogs maintained by women (muslim and otherwise) who are in polygamous relationships..
www.3rdlady.blogspot.com
http://journeyinpluralmarriage.blogspot.com/
from my reading i can summarize the situation for you in three words "it's not easy!". it is specially difficult for the bloggers above since they are surrounded by a culture that maligns them, where they are isolated in their experience with few (or no) avenues that can offer constructive counseling.
i would like to make an observation on the prevalence of polygamy. as you can well imagine, even in cultures where the practice of polygamy is accepted, it is statistically impossible for the majority of men to be in a polygamous relationship. unless the population of the country is greatly skewed due to extenuating circumstances (e.g. war, mass emigration, famine, infanticide, etc.) polygamy is always going to be the exception, rather than the rule.
many people associate polygamy with islam as if islam invented the practice. far from it.
muslims are at pains to point out that several revered biblical patriarchs were polygamous. the bible nowhere prescribes monogamy. since you are in africa i am sure you are aware of african churches, unburdened of greco-roman mores about monogamy, use the biblical text to continue your age old indigenous traditions of polygamy.
in fact, islam is the only one of the three abrahamic faiths, where the practice of polygamy is limited. islam limits a man from marrying more than four wives at any one time. this command did not institutionalize polygamy, rather it limited an heretofore unregulated practice. in fact, islam places a condition for a man to qualify for a polygamous marriage:
(004:003)
... Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one ...
which is followed with a warning
(004:129)
Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so)...
god bless